THIS ISSUE MAGIC NUMBER THREE SOMETIME IN SEPT 89

BIG BOY IS BACK <><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><<

CURIOUS GEORGE WAS A CURIOUS BOY. HE WANTED TO SEE WHAT
WOULD HAPPEN IF HE LICKED A HUNDRED STAMPS AND STUCK THEM ON HIS
FOREHEAD. WELL HE DID JUST THAT, AND ALL WAS FINE UNTIL ONE DAY
HE WAS WALKING BY A MAIL BOX AND AN OVER EXCITED TOOLBOX HERO
PICKED UP GEORGE AND STUFFED HIM IN THE MAILBOX.
 GEORGE STARTED TO SCREAM FOR
HELP WHEN THE LOCAL NEIGHBOR-
HOOD HIPPIE CAME BY AND
THREW AN EMPTY BEER CAN INTO
THE SLOT AS AN ACT OF
REBELLION AGAINST THE
ESTABLISHMENT. WELL AS LUCK
WOULD HAVE IT THE CAN GOT
STUCK IN GEORGES MOUTH SO HE
COULD NOT MAKE AN EFFORT TO
SCREAM, ALTHOUGH HE COULD
STILL BREATHE ALLRIGHT,
THANKS TO A DO-IT-YOURSELF
LASANGA OPERATION ON HIS
NASAL PASSAGES THAT HE HAD
SEEN ADVERTISED IN THE PAGES
OF LEAF COLLECTORS WEEKLY
THAT SAID "YOU NEVER KNOW
WHEN YOU'LL NEED THIS
WONDERFUL DEVICE".
WELL ABOUT FOUR HOURS LATER
THAN THE SCHEDULED MAIL
PICK-UP TIME, THE PUNCTUAL
MAIL CARRIER CAME BY TO
EMPTY THE CONTENTS OF THE
BULGEING BLUE BOX. AS HE
LIFTED GEORGE OUT OF THE
MAILBOX AND INTO HIS CANVAS
SACK HE THOUGHT TO HIMSELF
"THESE COLLEGE KIDS REALLY
SEND WEIRD MAIL". UNFOR-
TUNATELY, WITH THE BEER CAN
STUCK IN HIS MOUTH, GEORGE
COULD NOT EXPLAIN THAT HE
WASN'T A PARCEL BUT THE
VICTIM OF A TERRIBLE CIRCUM-
STANCE.
WELL BAD LUCK COMES IN
FOURS, AND THIS WAS THE DAY
GEORGE WORE HIS FAVORITE
MICHAEL JACKSON T-SHIRT, SO
WHEN HE GOT TO THE POST
OFFICE THEY PUT HIM IN THE
BIN MARKED "MICHAEL JACKSON
FAN MAIL". BUT AS EVERYBODY
 KNOWS THE INEFFICIENCIES OF
RUNNING A MAIL SYSTEM WITH
A COMPUTER 10 BILLION TIMES
THE SIZE OF PAC-MAN, GEORGE
WAS SENT TO THE PTL CLUB IN
A BIN MARKED "TAMMY FAYE'S
MAIL". CRUNCHED AMONG THE
FREE SAMPLES FROM REVLON
AND CLAIROL, GEORGE WAITED
TO SEE WHAT HIS FATE WOULD
BE.
AS BAD LUCK COMES IN
FOURS AND GEORGE HAD
ALREADY USED UP TWO COUPONS,
THIS WAS THE TIME FOR THE
NEXT EPISODE. WHEN THE
GRAND MARSHALL OF THE
HOTLINE TO GOD OPENED THE
MAIL WHILE TAMMY WAS
GETTING PAINTED, HE JUST
STOOD THERE IN SHOCK. HERE
WAS A PERFECTLY NORMAL,
TOUSELED HAIR YOUNG MAN,WITH
AN ALL AMERICAN FACE THAT
ANY MIDDLE AGED, SEMI RICH,
GOD FEARING, MIDWEST ADULTS
WOULD LOVE TO SEE BEAMING
FROM THE TUBE ON SUNDAY
MORNING. "MY BOY", SAID THE
GRAND MARSHALL, "YOU'RE
JUST WHAT I'VE BEEN LOOKING
FOR". HE YANKED THE BEER
CAN OUT OF HIS MOUTH.
"THERE'S PLENTY MORE WHERE
THAT CAME FROM SON, DON'T
YOU WORRY, I'LL GET YOU
ANYTHING YOU NEED". HE
SPOKE SO FAST AND FLUENT
THAT GEORGE'S HEAD WAS
BEGINNING TO SPIN AS HE WAS
LEAD DOWN THE HALL TO THE
MARY MAGDELYN MAKE UP
CENTER. WITH MOST OF HIS
BLEMISHES COVERED UP WITH
DURABOND LATEX No 5, HE WAS

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