MY BARN SITS ON TOP OF THIS HILL IN THE FAROUT COUNTRY OF EAST ASIA I'VE BEEN MEANING TO REMODEL ALL OF THE INSIDE EXTERIOR BUT THINGS HAPPEN PEOPLE HAVE PARTIES ANDTHE WEEKENDS FLY BY WITH NOT MUCH ACCOMPLISHED. I KNOW SOMEDAY I'LL BE TOO OLD TO DO ANY WORK ON THE BARN AND THEN I'LL LOOK BACK AND WONDER WHERE ALLTHE TIME WENT. LIKE A WEEK OR SO BACK I WAS INVITED TO A PARTY AT SOMEONES HOUSE ON THE OTHER SIDE OF THE HILL. EVEN THOUGH IT WAS JUNE IT WAS QUITE WARM OUT AND MOST OF THE GUESTS WERE ON THE BACK PATIO SUNNING THEMSELVES IN THE MOONLIGHT. THERE WAS SOME WEIRD HIPPIE MUSIC ON THE RADIO THAT SOUNDED LIKE A WRONG BREED OF LIONEL RICHIE AND LIONEL TRAINS PEOPLE WERE TALKING ABOUT THE LAST TIME THEY CUT THEIR TOENAILS THIS PARTY WAS B O R I N G ..........I RETREATED TO A SECRET CLOSET WHERE I TRIED TO THINK OF A WAY TO CONVINCE THESE PEOPLE THAT TIME WAS WASTING AWAY AND THIS PARTY MACHINE WAS IN NEED OF OIL. OUT OF THE THIN AIR AND WITH THE HELP OF A FEW CHEMISTRY TRICKS I PRODUCED A PARTY OF HIGH QUALITY RESULTING IN MUCH SMOKE FROM THE AREA AROUND THE REFRIGERATOR." LOOKS LIKE YOUR REFRIGERATOR BLEW A GASKET, HERB " THREE OF THE NERDS FROM THE PORCH CAME INTO THE KITCHEN WITH THEIR SLIDE RULERS HOPING TO CALCULATE THE COEFFIECENT OF CONDENSATION. "OH GREAT " I THOUGHT, "ANOTHER GREAT TOPIC OF CONVERSATION FOR THE PARTY" I LEFT THE NERD FILLED KITCHEN AND WENT TO THE NERD FILLED PATIO. I DONT KNOW WHY I WAS STAYING AROUND PERHAPS HOPING FOR SOMETHING TO SAVE ME AND MY SHADOW. WELL ALL THE SMOKE FROM THE KITCHEN ATTRACTED THE JAMICAN NEIGHBORS FROM DOWN THE STREET WHO CAME IN THROUGH THE BATHROOM WINDOW CARING TURNTABLES ON THEIR HEADS INTERWOVEN WITH THEIR DREADLOCK HAIR. THEJA MASTER WITH THE BIG EAR BEGAN TO PUMP THE BASS THROUGH THE ROOF OF THIS SMOKEY SHACK WHICH PROMTED THE NERDS TO COMPUTE THE ELECTRICTY CONSUMED WHEN THEY GOT THROWN OUT BY THE BIG MAMA JAMICAN WHO LOOKED LIKE SHE WAS A FRIEND OF JAMES BROWN. EVERYTHING WAS GOING GREAT WENT SOMEONE LET IN THE OLD LADY IN THE SHOE AND SHE GOT A LITTLE BIT TIED UP IN HER SHOELACES TO A BED UPSTAIRS. THE SMOKE BEGAN TO CLEAR AND I COULD HEAR CAROLE KNIGHT SINGING " I CAN SEE CLEARLY NOW THE RAIN HAS GONE " BUT SOMEBODY FORGOT TO TELL HER IT WASN'T RAINING. AS I PICKED UP THE CAR FONE TO CALL THE FIRE DEPARTMENT SOMEONE STARTED SINGING "THESE ARE THE GOOD OLD DAYS" AND WE ALL LIVED HAPPILY EVER AFTER AMEN. PASS THE DUETCHE.


Let me introduce myself. IÕm your student teacher. IÕm going to teach you how to write about love. Love is a good thing. Love is a farce. LetÕs see what others think of love, shall we?
Ms. Iota Kikya
Student Teacher
Scottish 101

Your new assignment:
Write a letter to the one you love, telling the truth and nothing but the truth.
Any deviations will be accepted.
For example:
Write a poem to the one you love, telling the truth and nothing but the truth.
Draw a picture of the one you love, telling the truth and nothing but the truth.
Write a letter to the one you hate, telling the truth and nothing but the truth.
Write a letter to the one you love, telling lies and only lies.
Write a letter to the thing love, telling the truth and nothing but the truth.
All assignments are due by March 1 and will be included in the exclusive anniversary issue of THIS Megazine. Any late assignments will be retained and used as bread crumbs in the school cafeteria.
You will be graded accordingly, and there are extra points for sucking up to teacher.
Send all completed assignments to:
this@waztech.com
or
This Megazine

The first submission:
To cheese, with love
Time caresses creamy skinned edges
The thin blue vein of age looks so lovely in your rind
if only I could grow to be
as well respected
as aged bleu cheese shared with a glass of wine
Kurt

Dream in and out

you were it so well
your face i can't tell
how'd you get so cold

you're a hit t.v. show
a good time with nowhere to go
i'll do what i'm told

you're my everything
with the face of an angel
i miss you more and more

with you i am whole and beautiful
so hard to let go
i need you more and more

andi wondersound and an apple for the teacher

 

 

 

POOP POOP POOP


PREVIOUS PAGE TURN PAGE

GET ME OUT OF HERE!