Did you ever notice the monkeys who sit atop the busses as they make
their way through the crowded streets of India? Impeccably dressed,
these monkeys are the talk of the town. Sitting proudly in the sun-
shine, raised high above the masses, they sit and survey over all their
kingdom, and groom each other endlessly while travelling from village
to village.

At night the monkeys come down off the top of the busses, presum-
ably to grab a bite to eat, and then they delight visitors and wisemen
with their stories of the great battles in the swamps of Gooliegandhi.
This tradition has been carried on for over 3 centuries as the primary
source of entertainment in India, surpassing even the historic art of
belly-dancing and tattoo removable. But there was reason for concern.

The youngest generation of monkeys, we in America call them
liliputians, refuse to sit atop the busses, and make loud screeching
noises when the elders try to tell them about stories from their ances-
try. They are more interested in jumping wildly from deck to deck,
stealing pocket watches and eyeglasses from the weary passengers,
and trading them for elephant dung bracelets, which are a delicacy in
India. The elder monkeys fear that their great tradition of story telling
and pruning will fall by the wayside to more aggressive behavior, such
as an American sport of football, but played with a coconut. So they
decided to take matters into their own hands.

The elder monkeys commissioned velvet roped harnesses fabricated
by local artisans to restrain the young monkeys from jumping all over
the bus, as a form of tether, a tie down restraint to maintain control.
But they did not anticipate the strong anti-participation from the
younger monkeys who refused to even sit still long enough to have the
harness assembled on their bodies. In fact several of them ran off
immediately, never to be seen again. The few young monkeys who
were able to be harnessed protested wildly with grunts and high
pitched whistles, which caused all the passengers to become sick to
their stomachs and vomit on the busses. Thus there was a 20 minute
long stoppage of all traffic in India while the busses were cleaned.

The elder monkeys, masters at passive involvement, let the harnessed
monkeys wail about for a few days, wise that even at their excitable
age the young monkeys would eventually begin to lose determination
and become respectable social monkeys. In fact this maturing process
was continued for 7 years, until all of the elder monkeys had died
from old age. But the young monkeys had lost their spirit, and had no
desire to break free from the bonds of their calming harnesses. In fact
they would begin to protest with short low pitched moans whenever
someone would touch their harnesses.

The young monkeys, who by now had grown into idle middle aged

Steven 16 Jr Yr 9-83

And then a company from America called RCA introduced something they called a televisionSpaceman

The future

to dream
about the

The future will be fun
the future will be good
the future will be
everything it should

and when it gets here we will say...

The future will be fun
the future will be good
the future will be
everything it should

monkeys, had no stories to tell,
because they had closed their ears to
the world in their mad rage at being
locked up in their prime age. They
had no desire in sexual reproduction,
since their offspring would be subject
to the same torture, as was the cus-
tom now. So there was no new young
monkeys to create any joy, any enter-
tainment value. People on the busses
began to stop going places because
the fun of the trip had waned. Life in
India was a cultural wasteland.

I gave her the slip today ('cause I didn't wear one yesterday)