HELLO TO ALL OUR FELLOW BEINGS IN THE WORLD OF PHLEGM!
DUH.. WHAT is it that makes me hate people so much? Is it their offensive odor or their rude habits of
talking too loudly at the dinner table? And what ever became of summer? How long has it been since a red
balloon has floated on an ice cream sky? We transport to the west, land of monkey shine, and get glue on our
fingers, can't lick stamps. No time to write home, phone calls too trying, we sit in the sun, waiting for income
tax checks to arrive. Buzzards fly by, bring back memories of Disneyland and flexible metallic toothpicks.
Across the vast wasteland, home improvement superstores grow like weeds, seldom offer any real i
mprovement, simply additional additions to the garbage heap that was last years model. Shotgun drive thrus
sell bean bag lifestyles where pickle grinned farmers talk of better times at the salt dam. "What gives?" shouts
neighbor, when a flaccid "Hello" would suffice. Exploding mailboxes with reformed inmates speak nonsense
over junk mail. Peaked interest from record companies looking for Vanilla Ice, promise ribbon tied packages if
you respond with jello. Wildflower alert ! Information overload dulls the senses until you require additional
stimulus to open a channel. Last show ends without a bang, yet all controlled by the 17th alphabet. "Will the
sewer rats ever learn?", scribbled on soup cans, echoes the demands made by veterans, pasted to Dr. Schols
loafers and walked on water treated by bacteria eating chlorine. Handy wet wipes soak up knowledge left
behind in haste, one forgets to taste the air, and takes for granted the spin of earth. Read on... technological t
rademarks endangered by the self erasing ink blots, continue the tradition thanks to my many nurses.
Promise to read more. Next time you want to make it big, consider where you're gonna put it.
I RECOMMEND PAM NON-STICK SPRAY TO ALL AMERICANS


TIP FROM THE EDITOR IN LARD:

HOW TO TAKE A BATH

1. POUR 1 CUP OF WATER INTO 1 BOTTLE OF BEER.
2. POUR BEER ON HEAD.
3. GRIND LETTUCE IN CIRCULAR MOTION ON TOP OF EMPTY BEER BOTTLE. (bot-tle)
4. SPREAD MUSTARD ON EMPTY BOTTLE NEAR LABEL.
5. CAP OFF WITH A DASH OF PAPRIKA ON HAND.
6. PUT BOTTLE IN HAND AND PARADE TO BATHROOM.
7. FILL TUB WITH ALL HOT WATER.
8. FLOAT LETTUCE, MUSTARD, PAPRIKA, AND BEER BOTTLE CONTRAPTION IN WATER.
9. WHEN LETTUCE HAS WILTED, BATH WATER IS READY.
10. AND DON'T FORGET TO WASH WHERE THE SUN DON'T SHINE!

ATTENTION: IMPORTANT
INFORMATION CONCERNING THE
LOCATION OF THE MASTURBATION


SENSATION
THIS MEGAZINE
P.O. BOX 86803
PHOENIX, AZ 85080-6803


if you live in phoenix, arizona, you have to use popsicles as tampons, to

keep your butt cool.

 

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