DISHES WERE PILIN UP
HIGHER THAN MY EXPECTATIONS
...............SOOOOOOOOOOO
I CALLED UP MY FRIEND I
SAID YOU KNOW WHAT I NEED
HE SAID A SLAP U'SIDE DA
HEAD YO WHAT YOU CALLIN ME
FO AT NINE A CLOCK IN THE
MORNIN DON'T YOU KNOW I'M
PLANTIN THE SEED FOR MY
NEXT GENERATION ?
AND I SAID I NEED A BRAIN
OPERATION SO HE GOT ME A
MAID ........HER NAME WAS
LUCY BUT THEY ALL CALLED
HER LOOSE. THE DAY THAT I
MET HER IT WAS SCREAMIN
LIKE A GOOSE I SAID YOU'LL
DO JUST FINE NOW TAKE YOUR
TIME I GOT A LOT OF WORKUM
TO DO HAVE MY DINNER
READY AT SIX..............

I CAME HOME AT SIX TO FIND
THE SHOW RIPPING HER WAY
THROUGH ALL THE BREAD
DOUGH . I SAID YOU NO YOU
DONT HAVE TO ACT THAT WAY
SHE SAID IF I DIDN'T MIND
SHE WOULD LIKE HER PAY
SEE SHE HAD A BOY FRIEND
AND HIS NAME WAS MAX AND
IF YOU EVER MET MAX YOU'D
WANT TO KNOW THE FACTS
BECAUSE MAX IS TALL AND
VERY THIN OPPOSITES
ATTRACT BUT THIS WAS A
SIN LUCY WAS SHORT MAYBE
TWO FEET THREE BUT WHAT
SHE LACKED IN HEIGHT SHE
MADE UP IN HER COOKIN
EVERY DAY WHEN I CAME
HOME I WOULD GET A LITTLE
BONE ON MY PLATE AND
MAYBE SOME POTATOE SALAD
BUT WHAT SHE WOULD EAT
WOULD MAKE MY HEAD GO
PALLID. TWO WHOLE CHICKENS
AND HALF A DEER A COUPLE
OF LEMONS AND TWO CUPS OF
BEER THREE PLATES OF
SPAGETTI AND A MEATBALL
ON TOP AND WHEN SHE WAS
DONE SHE DIDN'T WANT TO

STOP SHE LOOKED AT ME
FROM THE CORNER OF HER
EYE AND SAID GIVE ME
SOME OF THAT PUMPKIN PIE

I COULDNT BELIEVE IT THIS
WENT ON FOR A WEEK AND
WHEN IT WAS SUNDAY I
COUNLDN'T SPEAK YOU SEE
I HAD WITHERED DOWN TO
THE BONE BECAUSE OLD
MOTHER HUBBARD WOULDNT
GIVE ME NONE SO I DRIED
UP QUICK AND BLEW AWAY
AND NOW LUCY LIVES IN MY
HOUSE TO THIS DAY I AM
STILL AROUND BUT ONLY IN
SPIRIT I HAUNT AROUND MY
HOUSE BUT I WOULDNT GO
NEAR IT YESTERDAY SHE
SMOKED TWO PACKS A DAY
FINISHED HER CIGAR AND
FELL IN THE HAY WITH
HARRY FELLINI BECAUSE
MAX IS GONE HE GOT KILLED
FROM A LITTLE PIECE OF
CORN CAUGHT IN HIS
THROAT HE GOT ON THE BOAT
WAVED GOODBYE TO HIS FAT
FLOAT WAVED TO ME FELL
IN THE SEA SAID HAVE YOU
GOT ANY ARTICHOKES FOR ME?

 

MY BARN SITS ON TOP
OF THIS HILL IN THE FAR
OUT COUNTRY OF EASTASIA

I'VE BEEN MEANING TO
REMODEL ALL OF THE INSIDE
EXTERIOR BUT THINGS HAPPEN
PEOPLE HAVE PARTIES AND
THE WEEKENDS FLY BY WITH
NOT MUCH ACCOMPLISHED. I
KNOW SOMEDAY I'LL BE TOO
OLD TO DO ANY WORK ON THE
BARN AND THEN I'LL LOOK
BACK AND WONDER WHERE ALL
THE TIME WENT. LIKE A
WEEK OR SO BACK I WAS
INVITED TO A PARTY AT
SOMEONES HOUSE ON THE
OTHER SIDE OF THE HILL.

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